Self-Portrait

Sunday

Don't call the coast guard!


I'm coated in all this pretty dirt.
Dirt and glitter, filthy shimmers all over me.
Clods of dirt clogging up my veins, it's been a while since the dam fell down...
I didn't run out of words but they ran out of me, so we ran away, and there was no blood left to control us with.
I went for a nap in the ashes and hoped to wake up as a beautiful phoenix, but maybe my ugliness will transcend to the peak of beauty, I'll be so, so filthy and dirt encrusted that you won't be able to see me at all through the layers of grime. And. Then. I'll be beautiful, won't I?
Someone stubbed a cigarette out on me while I was sleeping, and I thought the flames meant I had my wings and the phoenix would fly away. But no, I was just camouflaged. I used to burn so brilliantly, but the fire died out. We tried pouring alcohol on it to revive it, but there's nothing to burn after that. So I threw some old photographs, stories, poems, records into the dying fire. Your face burned away, but I could still see it forming in the smoke, out of the smoke, going into my lungs, and now you're there forever, with all the tar and dirt inside my organs... Glistening.
Smoked humans for dinner.
Mmm.
I'm vegetarian, but I'll eat my young.
And I really don't know, all the knowledge and enlightenment was wasted on me.
Then the tsunami quenched the last of the embers, and blooms of jellyfish enclosed their tendril tentacles around us. I was safe. And that's where I want to be forever.

1 comment:

  1. Let me be your jellyfish, I will keep you safe, I promise. <3

    ReplyDelete

Write me something pretty.